The passing of a close family member

We just found out that Mels adoptive mom her Great grandmother as well Vaunda Geartner just passed away.  Space A didn't work out for us but hopefully getting on the plane tomorrow with the help of some good people at BDE we will be there tomorrow afternoon so she can get some closure.

This woman was not only a mom to Melody since like 8 months old but a mom to many.  This is what I would like to say about Gert.

In the year of 1996 I was a troubled youth that was in to all sorts of misbehaving.  I was distant from my parents on an outstanding warrant in another state, High school drop out who was trying to finish his education and living in the basement corner of a house my uncle rented a room from.  But I was chill no cares.  I met this girl and kinda liked her started seeing her and hanging out with her.  I remember one weekend saying I was gonna go hop on a train which I never done and go to Baltimore to see this girl.  Never been to place or been on a train but didn't care.  Her Aunt picked me up from the train station and took me to her house.  This is where I met Gert for the first time.

When I met Gert for the first time she was 88 years old I think, but you could not tell she was.  She was either working out back in her yard moving something way to heavy for her to do, or she was inside taking care of her Best friend.  Her best friend I would mention was an amputee and had Alzheimer as well.  I dis-missed much of this since I was really there just to see a girl I like.

A couple months went by and a couple visits as well.  I was trying to wrap up my diploma and figure out what to do next.  My uncle told me that I wasn't going to be able to stay in the basement for ever and that when I graduated at the end of the summer it was gonna be time to move on.  Me not knowing many people since I was trying to break all contact with my friends I got into trouble with I did not know what I was going to do.

A weekend in July I went to see Melody and I told her my dilemma.  She asked Gran and with no hesitation Gran offered for me to come stay in a spare bedroom she had.  I quickly took her up on her offer.  But that was not the kicker.  A few weekends when by and my mom took me to go see Melody, and took me and her and a friend of hers out to dinner.  Now by the end of the weekend I got stupid and drunk and pissed Melody off by exploding all over her friend and well with in a few days Melody no longer wanted to be with me.

I was sad but I was also worried since now my place to crash was gone.  I mean why would Gran let me stay at her house if I was no longer in a relationship with her daughter.  Farthest thing from what I thought was going to happen happened.  She didn't care, she wanted me to still move in so that I could straighten out.  She gave me the place to stay and food to eat until I got a job.

Around the same time I joined the National Guard and was working full time as a bus boy.  With the little bit of stability I had I turned myself in to the police on my warrant so that I could start a clean slate and join the military.

Gran would pin me down in conversations that were probably over my head or just to complicated for my heart.  She would tell me about god and how he loved me and how he had plans for me and that he loved me.  at that time I didn't think any of that but I knew Gran cared and that was enough.  I won't say I didn't abuse or misuse my affections for Gran to make sure I kept a roof over my head but years later I should find out that she knew I was not fooling her.  I wasn't getting anything over on her.

Gran would tell me stories of her upbringing.  I think she raised like 8 or 9 Biological children a formally adopted child and numerous other heathens, and ruffians up and down the east coast.  Every few months or so some random person would call or show up to see how gran was.  These people were some  times people she had not see in many years.  She may had not seen them since they were teenagers and now they are 30 somethings pluses showing up at her door to check in on her to say hi.

There was this one guy who sang music that would drive up from Tennessee in the morning and leave in the evening just to spend a few hours and talk about life and god with Gran. She would make impressions on everybody that came into contact with her.

The fun thing about Gran is she would sneak up on you when you least expected or she would be doing stuff that there is no way that you would think you could do yourself.  She would get it done.  If you ever get a chance to meet any of her family just ask them about her huge steel filing cabinet that weighed gotta be 3-400 lbs. And she would move in around her entire room from one side to another not even thinking of asking for help.

There are many many stories about Gran that I alone could tell.  There could be complete novel series on her life.

When I was not the best person, father, husband she was there to try and help me back to my path.  From helping my and mel take care of our first kid and practically co-raising her with mel since I was either at work or something. She would always let me know how important I was.  And how she felt good that I was there for my wife even though I knew I wasn't.  She would give me encouragement when I was down, and give me praise when I was good.   It was something I missed in my life I only got that from a few people in my life and that was a rarity.

I took Gran for granted and I am sure I could have done more for her.  I know that she is now looking down at us and her great great grand children and wishing the best for us. I am sorry I could not get there to say goodbye Gran.  One day you will get to play with your kids again and play the way you want to play.  I would not be ten percent of the person I am today and would probably dead or in jail if you never came into my life.  I won't let you down.  I will continue to work hard and I will take care of Mel and the kids.

I love you and miss you

Donny